The decision to go sailing is not an easy one; at least not for us. We have 7 pets and a young child to consider. Plus we are scared of the decision to go. Why? I know, its all adventure on the high seas between sugar white sand beaches and rum drinks… If that were all there was to it, no one would stay back; the oceans would be so crowded one could scamper over rafted up vessels from Newport to Bermuda. So what took so long to set a date and what is getting in the way of leaving? It really comes down to the comfort of what we know vs. the angst of the unknown or how to make it knowable.
I have a comfortable job that pays well and has great benefits. When I leave in 8 years I will likely have to return to work. Will a similar job be available? Will someone hire an older vagabond that just spent years slacking in the worlds oceans? I hope so. Will my family love the chance to grow together through struggles and rewards that come through such a large challenge or will it tear us apart? The world is dangerous isn’t it?
There are so many questions. Large questions with expensive answers and smaller questions with tenuous or dubious answers. It all adds up to fear of the unknown. Now, I don’t think I have ever been crippled by a question. What I have learned to do through years of work or activities outside of it, is to rephrase the question. See I believe that our minds strive to find answers when presented with unfamiliar situations. If I ask the query in a manner that promotes a negative answer or a fearful one, that is exactly the answer my mind will gravitate to. If instead, I rethink the issue/question as something requiring action to overcome, my brain produces an answer that is 1) doable and 2) lacks the apprehension the other phrasing would have developed. For instance, if I ask “Aren’t pirates a problem?” , the answer will be yes. End of story. Let the fear commence and stay home. But another question entirely, “How can I protect my boat and my family from piracy?” yields a response that leaves me in control. The answers I generate will focus on the issue and promote forward progress.
The technique works for just about everything boat related and possibly life. Just ask better questions. Take leaks in my deck. I could ask, “Why does my deck leak?”. The answer could be that the vessel is a piece of shit or that I am plain lazy and haven’t done proper maintenance. Both answers point out that in someone way I am slack (which in this case may be true, but not very helpful). They do not empower. They sap the energy I need to do something about this issue. What can I do to stop these leaks and prevent new ones? That helps get me moving. Find the leaks, evaluate the problem area and determine the best means to fix the problem at that point. In some cases some new silicone might do the job, in others maybe the sky light over the v-berth created by dropping the anchor on the deck needs some glass, vinyl resin, gel-coat and a coat of kiwi grip (this isn’t the exact problem, but stay tuned for another post on how I fixed something similar).
So what are the questions now?
How will I keep my job skills up to date while traveling so that I am personally marketable when I return?
How big will the cruising kitty need to be including a buffer for not working while finding a job?
How can I keep my family safe at sea from dangerous weather and dangerous people?
What steps will I need to accomplish to be mentally and physically fit for an extended voyage?
How do I ensure the crew has the same level of fitness going out?
If our pets are still with us who will we get to care for them?
How can I educate my child while living abroad (aboard)?
Phrased the right way, a question helps the mind manage intimidating issues. It helps break down the problem to something that a person can imagine or get help with. So the next time an issue seems overwhelming ask yourself if you can change the question. You might then get the answer that motivates you and gets you moving. For myself and my family, some answers present themselves after leaving the dock. So we focus right now on the questions that will get us to the dock and beyond.